I hate Germs! (view informative video about Germs) Let me specify that even further…. I hate sickness, doctors, hospitals, any place sick people or doctors who have germs from sick people on them are, anything related to or pertaining to germs, sickness, bodily functions…. so, yes, I’d have to include bathrooms in this as well….. you get the idea! (disclaimer: I don’t dislike doctors as people, I dislike the reasons for needing doctors!)
I’ve had to spend a lot of time in hospitals and health clinics lately. My poor dad has had a lot of health problems and I’ve been fortunate enough to accompany him to various hospitals. I also came down with a bout of Strep throat at Christmas time and was blessed to be able to sit in the waiting room of the health clinic surrounded by germs on every surface!
Merritt will attest to my germaphobia. In fact, I’ve become a bit OCD when it comes to germs. I don’t like touching doornobs, I try not to breathe too deeply in public places, I try not to breathe at all in hospitals! (the nurses usually think I’m suffering from a breathing disorder because I turn blue in the face and gasp a lot.) I think I can actually see the little buggers festering and hovering in the air, lurking on the arms of the chairs, stealthily slithering their way up my hands, into my nostrils and mouth….. leering at me from all corners of the room. I actually think I got strep throat from being in the emergency room a few days before.
I love that they put those little hand pumps of antibacterial wash by each room door and elevator in hospitals, though. I use those obsessively! I wish others would. I would put it in my mouth if I could! I wish they had those at every door in every building in every city, in every country!
I also wish they had radar or laser sensors on all bathroom entrances in buildings. I KNOW a lot of people don’t wash their hands after they do their business! If they had some loud alarm that went off if people didn’t wash their hands, maybe a loud speaker announcing “Unclean! Unclean! Please return to the bathroom and wash thoroughly! Unclean!” They could even have dye packs like banks put in bags of money that are being stolen, so that if a person doesn’t wash their hands they would come out looking bright purple or something! And everything they touch would be bright purple, so you’d know someone who hadn’t washed their hands had touched that item.
I also think public expulsion of personal gas…… (or farting, as is otherwise known) would be prohibited. Indoor smoking is prohibited, so why not farting? Why can’t people discreetly excuse themselves from the room to let out their gaseous buildup? I truly believe there are little “Fart Spores” that are let out in the gas that can hover in the air and are carried into the body through the nasal air passages. Who knows what harm they can do in the long term? Maybe we will find they are linked to cancer! Who knows?!
So, before you go calling the looneybin on me, just check yourself for a minute. Are you feeling a litte creepy-crawly after reading this? Are you wondering just how many germs are waiting on your keyboard, your mouse… just watching and waiting until the moment they can hitch a ride onto your fingers and worm their way into your mouth when you grab that handful of crackers on your desk? I thought so…. maybe I’m not so crazy after all!
I’m thinking of wearing a hazmat suit when I go visit my dad at the hospital today. I may get some weird looks, but who’ll be doing the laughing when they get a rare form of skin disease and I don’t? Huh? I thought so!!!!
Life...How Hard Can It Be? 