I am not like everyone else. People are just weird!!! There is no other explanation for it! I have learned I am quite different from the “real world”. I have heard it said that Mormons are a peculiar people, but there are peculiar people all over the place. There are even many varied degrees of peculiarity withing the church!
My eyes were first opened when I attend my first year of college. Now, the first college I attended was Ricks College, in Idaho. It was owned by the Church, and I wanted to go somewhere were I could feel the Spirit strongly, and not be surrounded by evil influences. Ha! My neighbors would keep me up every Saturday night with loud music, guys in the apartment WAAAAY past curfew, and clinking of beer bottles outside their door in the wee hours of the morning when *almost* all the guys left to get some sleep before attending church….(the church of the NFL, that is) in a few hours. Yes, one would frequently stay behind. How do I know this? Well…. eh…… to put it delicately, I’d “hear” things on the other side of my bedroom wall that let me know at least one guy was still very much present. Needless, to say, these neighbors weren’t long for the church school. They paid their dues and were eventually kicked out. My eyes were opened….. not all people have the same morals and standards as I do.
I had to endure a few more years of this eye-opening at Ricks, even with my own room mates. However, a whole other level became apparent as I moved on to Utah State University, and the strange and peculiar reality of the “Singles Ward”. ( I was reminded of the truthfullness of how strange singles wards really are last night as I watched “The Singles 2nd Ward” movie. Not a great movie, perhaps because it is too close to a reality I wish to forget entirely!)
Singles wards are, I am convinced, there for one purpose only: TO MARRY PEOPLE OFF BEFORE THEY GET TOO OLD! You show up on Sunday, bear your testimony about how you love your roommates, make excellent brownies after church every week, spend every weekend in your apartment because you are SINGLE, and your phone # is ———. Yes, this is true. I have experienced it with my own eyes! The girls eye the guys as they pass the sacrament…. they guys eye the girls as they all walk to sunday school class. Monday nights are”family” night, where everyone acts like no family I have ever known outside Arkansas….. flirting, back-rubbing, WAAAAYYY too much wrestling!!! Usually by the next Sunday, some couple that met the previous Monday night will announce their engagement. It’s true!!! Oh, and their wedding will be on Monday night, so everyone bring treats for the reception!
Lesson number 3: the family ward. I became truly convinced at the peculiarity of Mormons when I finally became enmeshed in my own family ward. I had obviously grown up in a family ward, myself, and yes, there were VERY peculiar people there. But is wasn’t until I had my own family that I realized… there are peculiar people EVERYWHERE!!!!! In the movie I watched last night, it showed a woman in the middle of the chapel, during sacrament meeting, making her kids PB&J sandwitches right there on the bench, pouring milk into bowls of cereal for her kids! You laugh, but I have witnessed this occurance myself many times!!! A family I went to church with would often pull out inappropriate food items (meaning anything other than fishy crackers, cheerios, etc.) in the middle of church…. PB&J sandwiches being one of them!!!!
Well, I could go on and on and on about oddities I have seen in people. Perhaps I should have a week of posting such stories. At any rate, I am convinced there aren’t many normal people out there in the world.
