Life…How Hard Can It Be?

I have always been misunderstood. It’s true! I think I live in a fantasy world in my head where I am a fairly normal person, who likes fairly normal things. I think I’m pretty likable… I’ve never really had a hard time making friends. However, lately it seems that maybe everything I have ever thought was real about my life was really just my imagination! Here are some examples of being misunderstood:

1) When I was about 13 I went to girls camp in church. We had to give gifts secretly each day of camp to another girl who;s name we drew from a hat.  I wrote a story one of the days about a girl who was sad and depressed, but she made a new friend and was happy again. (I was 13, ok? Not a published literary genious!) About a week after camp, I got called into the Stake offices at my church where the head of the Young Women’s organization in our stake, and the camp director, as well as my bishop and stake president were all seated at a big table waiting for me. They pulled out the little book I had written to my “secret” friend, and asked if I had written it. When I said I had, they proceeded to ask me if I was suicidal, and how long I had been suffering from depression! Anyone who knew me would know I was a very happy positive girl! I was shocked they would even take the story literally!  I was just trying to write a cute story and make my secret friend happy!

2) In College, I was asked to sing at a workshop with a famous opera singer who was visiting our school. (USU) She would work with us on a particular song we were learning, and, in front of a large audience, she would help us better our technique. I was happy to do this! I got up and sang my song by Mozart, and waited for her instruction. She had me sing a difficult passage a few times, and because it was very high, I obviously struggled with it a bit.  She kept drilling me on it, and I was getting more and more frustrated by my inability to do it right. Finally, in my exasperation I complained about how high it was. She said Mozart knew what he was doing when he wrote it, and I blurted out, “Well…. Mozart wasn’t a soprano!”  She immediately got very angry and said I was a stuck-up diva who had no business on the stage, and immediately threw me out of her class! I was just making a joke!!!!

I could go on and on with examples throughout my entire life! I have plenty, believe me! But lately, I have really been thinking that my reality isn’t other’s reality! Some people I associate with seem to not want to chat with me, or seem irritated when I am talking to them. I asked my husband if I send out the wrong message, and he said that I can come across as a bit snobby or snooty to others who don’t know me well! How can this be???? I am just being friendly and easy-going!!!!

So, I give up! I am tired of finding out that people have totally misunderstood me! I am tired of worrying that I’m coming across wrong! I’ve had it! I am going to just be myself, and if people don’t like what they see, I don’t want to be around them, anyway! Not like I’m not myself anyway, but I am going to stop worrying about what others think about me being myself!!!! And I am not going to care if I don’t get invited to do “girl things” with other “girls”,  because I’m not a “girl” anymore, anyway! I’m a woman who knows who I am and likes me! In fact, if I wasn’t married, I’d ask me out!

Ok, that’s all!!!! The End!!!!